(belated) Year Anniversary

According to the Dr.'s scale I'm at 166lbs.

I wish I could have gone back to a remeasure because 30 minutes later I did a poo so lethal it broke the toilet in the Thai restaurant we had dinner at. Pretty sure after that monstrosity I was at least 5lbs lighter.

No guys, seriously, lethal poo was lethal. I dashed off just when the appetizers arrived and didn't resurface until mom was finished with her meal entirely. Their toilet was apparently no match for me because holy cow I flodded that fecker like woah.

Also, apparently there is no word in Thai for plunger.

Anyway, back to the doc, according to him mom and I are now at the level playing ground that normal "skinny" people are at. If we want to reach our individual goals we'll have to kick up the exercise regime and watch our foods better.

Mom and I took that into serious consideration as we drove home. Each of us sipping on our limeaide slushies and hot chocolate and gnoshing on butterfingers/paydays respectively.

Right now I'm fighting Jansky for a slice of sargento cheddar, so I'm ending this now.

DOES NOT WANT

emo post made me feel better. I shall edit it down when I'm done typing this:

I took a swig of DayQuil and the first thought that flashed through my mind was "NOT AS TASTY AS PEPTO!"

Eugh. It burns us.

I am angry

The yoga instructor likes to say that we should, not exactly embrace it, but acknowledge and feel our anger. Do not follow it to its root, do not try analyze why you are angry, just feel angry and eventually come to terms with the fact that you are angry. Do not try to escape the emotion, do not try to lash out or justify it. Don't make excuses. Just be angry. You need to come to terms with the fact that that angry person is a part of you. You cannot get rid of that person, you have to learn to live with them.

So that's what I'm doing... and in all honesty it only makes me want to lash out even more. However, by embracing the anger and not trying to rationalize it (because we as human beings do not like feeling angry, we like and can handle the side emotions it comes with better than we can handle the anger itself) I was able to understand where my anger truly is coming from. Hormones. Nobody around me has done anything that is particularly out of character for them, and it is getting close to my "I enjoy being a girl" time of the month. Usually I get the zits pop up everywhere side effect, I very rarely get angry like this. Strangely enough not many zits this month but a whole lot of rage.

Apparently I am not worth call backs.

I am angry at stupid people at the nursing homes I work at. Do not lay someone down shortly after I say we need them for therapy. Do not bitch at me for not getting YOUR PERSON FIRST THE SECOND YOU STEP IN. There were other therapists there before you. Also, if a person is just down the hall... GET THEM YOURSELF YOU LAZY BUM. >I Do not talk about farting on residents to get a reaction out of them. That makes you a diseased maggot who does horrible things to SICK OLD PEOPLE.

I encourage everyone to stop mocking my vernacular. It is was makes me endearing. BE ENDEARED DAMNIT!

I am ashamed that I snapped at mom yesterday over hotel reservations. She didn't deserve it.

I am also frustrated and upset that my immunity system is getting some sort of turbulence. I don't know if I'm getting a cold or if it is just my allergies starting to go into overdrive. I also get heartburn by just looking at food, so I dumped whatever money I got from the garage sale on pepto.

There have been some ups to my week though, last night I caught up on season g of QI and today I got a birthday brownie from Penny! <3 I also bought T-dawg's birthday present. He's getting the first 8 volumes of Naruto (I had vol. 4-8 already, I just needed to replace 1, 2, & 3) and while at B&N I picked up some photoshop magazines. I shall invest in CS5 when my loan check comes in. :o

I find I shall probably regret this post but whatever, this is my "I AM CANDID GET OVER IT" blog.

Stage Two Day Two

So day two and I'm doing alright. I found myself wishing I could just chomp down into a sandwich or something a few times today, but managed to stay strong. I got a hunger headache around noon today and was ecstatic when I finally got home and was able to EAT SOMETHING. The headache quickly cleared and I took an hour long nap.

I also went to yoga and felt much better for it.

I weighed this afternoon, I'd lost one pound since the beginning of Sep. Poo.

Breakfast:
Yogurt (dannon fruit at the bottom)

Lunch:
6 tablespoon fulls of homemade chicken noodle soup (I accidentally put waaaaaaay too much salt in it when I was heating it up)
1/2 tablespoon of peanut butter on some whole grain club crackers
yogurt (another dannon fruit at the bottom)

Dinner:
Cup of white rice and an egg with soy sauce

Snackums:
1 yogurt (yoplait this time)
1 teaspoon peanut butter and 3 whole grain club crackers
a pinch of diced ham and cheese (mom had an omelet for dinner)
A billion gram cracker goldfish.

As far as beverages go I'm almost done with a 24oz bottle of propel and I'm still working on the rest of yesterday's powerade.

You start with crackers and end with silver jugs

A line from the audio book I'm listening to.


Anyway I'm ducking back to a Stage 2 diet. Weight loss has slowed to a painful crawl and if I'm to meet my bet with Ben I have to kick it up to the next level. Level 2 is mostly soft foods that you would introduce to an infant or would be able to eat on a mechanical soft diet. Well ground foods with mild seasonings/spices, beans, eggs, and yogurt. So far the day's gone alright... I had a pudding cup.

Today's meals were

Breakfast:
yogurt

Lunch:
yogurt
egg drop soup
crackers

Dinner:
baked tostitos
left over taco meat
beans/sour cream/cheese sauce

Snackums:
1 yogurt
1 pudding cup
an odd amount of pretzels
table spoon of peanut butter

I also managed to get down a 24oz bottle of propel and I'm suckling my way through a 32oz bottle of powerade.'


I did a stupid and took a migraine pill and instead of making me feel better it made me dizzy and weak. I just want to crawl under the covers and sleep, which is what will be happening once I finish drawing my fuzzy old man for class.

Dental Hygiene

So my electric toothbrush went out this morning. I went with mom to target to pick up Lyrissa's birthday present and a battery toothbrush (until I can find some place that sold replacement handles).

I found one that would work and went to put it in my basket when mom pointed out that the childrens' battery brushes had the same brush head and was only $6 as opposed to the adult's $21+ toothbrushes.

So I now have a Wall*E electric tooth brush.
I will never get laid.


Ever.

Well.. figured out what happens when I do milk

I get mega bloated and feel like I ate rotten sour food.
I then have the most rancid milk farts ever... and here I thought my ice cream gas was bad.

It was the most delicious hot chocolate I've ever had though. That's the last time I'm doing hot chocolate from a nice coffee place, but I shall look fondly back upon it and sigh whimsically because it will never happen again.


So I've been working full time for the past 3 weeks. I enjoy having a place to go in the morning, it's nice having a structured schedule. Killer on the social life though.

I mostly do a lot of walking up and down stairs and pushing old people to and from therapy (I don't push them up and down stairs... that'd be mean. I take the elevator when I'm with a resident). I've noticed my appetite has increased since I started doing this. I don't know if the job has a part in that or I'm just in a high food period. Clothes seem to be fitting a little better too. I also have formed a bit of an oral fixation, that might have to do with the constant munchies.


I seemed to have had a UTI for a little while, I doubt I'm fully free of it but at least I don't feel like I have to pee 24/7 and it doesn't burn like a house fire when I do go.

school pimping

I try really hard not to bring work to this blog, but my coworker's school is in some Kohl's Cares contest and they're pretty high in the running. Any vote helps.

CHUBBY CHEEKS

NOW

THEN

old picture is old, I don't even know where Hickman found this

I hate and love these dreams

I hate dreams where I have a boyfriend, because when I wake up I'm single again.
These dreams pop-up every so often, usually when I've just met a new male or have been talking to one I hadn't talked to in awhile. I don't read anything into them anymore, just a happy little dream that makes me go "damn >.< " when I wake up in the morning.

Alright, emo statement aside I'm actually doing well.

Only had two nasty headaches with this past period, which is an improvement to last month's 8.
My size 14w are getting a little loose.
My hair cut is still adorable.

Online classes are so-so. Getting a B+ in history and a C something or other in my drawing class.
My advice to anyone out there is to not take anatomy drawing classes online.

Mom had hernia surgery a few weeks ago. She's depressed that she doesn't have a flat washboard stomach. The hernia was keeping the skin around her stomach tight, and she was hoping once it was gone she'd get rid of her pudge. She was very disappointed to find she not only had pudge, but very jiggly pudge. She will cope, I think.

That is all I can think of at the moment.

Crotch Fire

This is embarrassing.

Even taking into consideration that I spend a lot of time going into detail about bowels movements, farts, and yeast infections, I think this is super special on the embarrassment scale.


So, as I've said I'm taking antibiotics. One of them is a close cousin to penicillin. I am allergic to penicillin. Doc said to work through the stomach cramps since it is only one week. He said to stop taking them if I go into anaphylactic shock or get a rash.

Well, I'd noticed a few days on the meds that my groin area was itchy. I just assumed that the antibiotic was doing something about my nasty little yeast infection that likes to pop up every so often.

It never crossed my mind that of all places on my anatomy I would get a rash ON MY CROTCH.


Fuck this noise.

Probably explains my lack of patience lately.

I update more when I have things to bitch about

Doing well. Stomach was having issues with heartburn yesterday, but that was because I A) ate tacobell and B) ran out of pepto and was unable to do my "pepto therapy." I practically nurse off that stuff now.

The worst side effect from the antibiotics is the runs, and in all honesty that's not as bad as it possibly could be (no, it is not fun, but it isn't like end of the world every second runs either).

Stomach cramps have gone down greatly too. Usually it is the night dose (because I'd eaten supper a few hours before and therefore am not totally empty) that pretends like it wants to act up. Also, my stomach gets that rebellious feel whenever I go to take my usual vitamins anymore. Hello overly paranoid stomach.

Also, happy days. I am a college student again, going for a masters. Look at me being all official.

Just fyi, I stuck to water all night. The booze is not mine. :p


I actually don't hate getting my picture taken now.

Update on stomach:
The meds sit better if I don't eat anything a few hours before hand, and it also doesn't feel quite as OMG I AM GOING TO DIE painful. Just a mild headache and gurgly intestines.

Got my hairs cut

DO I LOOK LIKE A TRENDY HIPSTER YET



Heads up on the meds:
Got 'em.
Allergic to one.
So long as I don't break out in a rash I'm to keep taking them.
I do better with them on an empty stomach, but still kinda sucks.

Side Effects worse than Disease

pearl (for UTI)
iron pill
garlic (for UTI)
prilosec ( for heart burn)
cranberry x2 (for UTI)
cirtucil
multi vitamin
clarithromycin (antibiotic for stomach ulcer)
amoxicillin and clavulanate potassium (antibiotic for stomach ulcer)



To all the people that think doing a gastric bypass surgery is the "easy way out" or a "cheat"

Fuck. You.


I'm also having some unpleasant side effects from the last two. I'm allergic to penicillin and they're very similar to it. I'm getting some stomach cramping and it feels like there's a lead brick in there.

So of course what does mom ask?

"What sounds good for supper?"

Eating Optional

So I did the call back. He's saying we should take it careful and proceed as though I've got a stomach ulcer. He's been trying to get in contact with my Walgreens to place in a prescription for some antibiotics. So far he's been having issues with them not answering their phone. If all else fails he's going to fax the information over on Monday. So until then I'm doping up on pepto and tums.

He allowed me to move up to soft and relatively "gentle" foods. I've had stuffing, mac & cheese, baked potato, apple sauce (basically the Vegetable Plate at Corner Cafe, you can pick 5 side dishes instead of doing a dinner) and alfredo with grilled chicken.

I wasn't able to eat much of any of it, got full really fast, but it has all set alright. The only thing that has given me issue is the alfredo, and mom and I are thinking it has more to do with the fact that I'm putting something in my stomach than what it is I'm putting in there.

I've also done some munchie stuff (organic oreos and pringles). Mom let me try one of her onion rings from BK and immediately set off unhappy tummy alarms.

I honestly don't know if it is because I'm now paying closer attention, but ever since I called the doc I've had more heart burn/eating issues after the whole yogurt and broth diet than I did before it.

Doctor's Note

I'm sitting in the office right now, reveling in my own little pity party.

Not so much a pity party really, just a "wtf just happened" party. My life went from being stress-free to "fml" in the span of just 30 minutes. Most if it started when a resident got agitated and started screaming, calling me a liar/bitch/bitchhole/whore (or an odd mixture of all the above), and elbowing me in the face. I also got a flare up of heart burn, from a few bites of my sandwich (roast beef with mayo, nothing else was on it) and yogurt. I am being literal when I say I managed three bites before I had to go babysit the afforementioned resident.

I mentioned this to mom and she insisted I call the doctor.

Hargroder and I went over the various things I've done that could have caused or helped my heartburn. He suggested prilosec. I informed him that I've been taking it the past week and still get heartburn. He suggest taking pepto bismol. I told him I take a swig whenever I feel it start to prickle up. He asked if it helped any and I told him it tampers it down, but still heartburn rears its head. I infromed him I don't smoke or drink alcohol and have had two sodas since surgery.

I also admitted to taking excedrin during my periods (which was recently).

Apparently two days worth of advil can help start up a stomach ulcer.

Basically, he's worried that I've managed to score myself a stomach ulcer. Right now I've been bumped back down to stage 1 diet. Broth, yogurt, saltines and gatorade for the next 48 hours. If I'm still hurting then there is an antibiotic he wants to prescribe. He also thinks I should discuss things with my regular doctor, but I really don't want to do that. I don't know what the protocol is if I do have some stomach ulcers. What new meds I'll get or what changes I'll have to make. Does it involve surgery?

I'm trying not to make this sound like an emo fml moment, because all things considered I'm doing just fine. Just.. stressed.

Acid Burn

Lately I've been having a bit of trouble with acid reflux/heart burn/ really unpleasant pain in the esophagus, chest, and stomach area.

It started a month or two ago when I went on a buffalo wing craving streak. I'd eat a few wings, get a burning, take some pepto and do alright. After a few days I began to need more and more pepto, it went from a sip, to a few solid swallows. I stopped eating hot wings and did just fine until I had spaghetti.

The red sauce was murder.

So now I'm laying off most things tomato, as well as hot wings.

I did BD's over the week, and woke up at 3 am with heart burn.
I did Chinese food last night and suffered unpleasantly for a few hours before it subsided enough to let me sleep.

I'm going to start taking prilosec before every meal again and stick with a blander diet.

Little Blue Dress

So I was going through this blog looking for previous mentionings of my "little blue dress" and was surprised to see I hadn't said anything about it.

You see, before the surgery I saw a little blue dress at the Ameristar Casino store. It was a relatively simple little number. Colbalt blue with some sequence at the top and some spaghetti straps. It went to about mid calf and had a sort of gypsy skirt. It was pretty but simple.

And I really really liked it. I knew they didn't have them in my size, I was 2x pushing 3 at the time but whenever I'd walk passed the store front and see the dress there I'd mentally say something along the lines of "Some day, Little Blue Dress... someday." In many ways that Little Blue Dress was the key factor in my decision to have the surgery. I'd almost called this blog "mylittlebluedress".

Eventually I stopped going to Ameristar as often, so I saw the dress less and less, and then the store's inventory changed to keep up with the seasons and life went on. I eventually forgot about my Little Blue Dress.

Until tonight.

Dad called me upstairs and presented me with a plastic Ameristar bag and I thought to myself "Oh great, another t-shirt" (they'd picked me up a shirt that was a size too big over the weekend and I assumed they were trying to swap it out).

It took a few seconds before I realized I was holding my Little Blue Dress. "It won't fit" were the first words out of my mouth. Mom suggested that it would probably be too big, and dad offered to take it back for the next size down. I pulled the material as far as it would give and did a mental calculation of the stretch vs. my size. "It'll be too small, it won't fit."

But guess what.

I fit in my Little Blue Dress.