And how does that make you feel

Did the psych evaluation today.

Apparently I'm not crazy. In fact, quite opposite. I seem to be a mentally healthy individual.

Sucka.


But no, seriously, she was a nice lady. She was kind enough to squeeze mom and me in with just a few days notice, and was also cool enough to call me to let me know she was having car issues and would be late. Most docs would have just let us sit in the waiting room.

She showed us a before/after picture of herself with the surgery, and I gotta say it's impressive.

But yeah, I think she was pleased with my take on the whole thing. The surgery is a tool, not a get out of jail free card.

However, there was one thing she said that has stuck with me.
As I change and lose weight, my relationships with people will change too. Some people will be become jealous and lash out, others will be more accepting and willing to include you in things, and you'll never really feel like you fit in with either the "fat" or "skinny" category.

The idea of not being part of the "Fat Chick Club" is hard for me to digest.

Note to self: Invest in tums.

ELECTROLYTES! IT'S WHAT PLANTS CRAVE

Just got off the phone with Carla a little bit ago.

I asked her about water and how much of it I'll be drinking.

I like water, it is my preferred liquid. I carry around a 64 oz water bottle and try my damnedest to finish it off. Hydration is important, especially for people losing weight or those who had recently had surgery. Her answer surprised me.

"You won't be drinking water for awhile after the surgery, you'll be replacing it with gatorade. You see after the surgery the electrolytes from the gatorade will be especially important."

Wow.

Been bad, no jogging last few days.

aand up to 238, more than before curves. :/

All aboard the fail boat

So I didn't manage to do the treadmill last night. One of our little residents had knee surgery last tuesday so mom and I drove out to Blue Springs to visit. We stopped at Culvers on the way and I had a chicken sandwich... heedless to say after all the grease running didn't sound like a good idea.

So mom was asking how some of my friends were doing, and I told her I hadn't heard from any of them in awhile, and she quipped back with "Have *you* caaaaalled them?" which irked me for some reason, and I snapped back with "*No* I haven't caaaaalled them."

I don't know, I just don't like going out and actually being around people right now.


I'm not going to blame that on my weight, because my dad's a bit of a home-body too so maybe I get that from him... but at the same time when I get dressed in the morning and have to add more clothes to the "Does Not Fit" pile.. I can't help but think that maybe my size *does* have something to do with my lack of desire to keep in contact with people.

I don't want them to see how badly I've failed? How greatly I've slipped? How much I let myself go?


PITY PARTY AT MY HOUSE BRING CHOCOLATE!

Another at work post

We're on lunch break right now, and what with things being slower than usual the past few weeks I was able to sneak onto the computer to make a little post.

So last night I did the treadmill for another 30 mins for 172 calories, which was exciting. I was still heaving but not as badly as the day before and the break I had to take wasn't as long either. I also figured out why it's so much harder this time around, the program I've been jogging has an incline! Where as previously I'd always run without an incline. I feel a little more empowered now.


Mom and I are anticipating on doing the surgery on October 28'th. That's a few days after my birthday, so I'll be able to have cake

PSYCH- I know you know that I'm not telling the truth

My cat is laying on my wrists as I type this so please ignore my typos.

So I scheduled the psych evaluation for this upcoming Tuesday the 15'th at 2:30 pm.

I forgot that the doctors physical and the psych eval were going to cost money too. Duh, Beth.
Her fee is $250, and I don't know about the physical.

After that we need to get the contact information for 10 other people who have had the MGB procedure, write a letter, get dad to write some letters, take some pictures, and mail it all together in a packet.

I also gained over five pounds this past week, it's getting harder to breathe, even when sitting. :/
---

I stepped away from the computer for a bit, I randomly decided that 10:30 was a good time to go on the treadmill.

I am ashamed and alarmed at how sweaty I am and how hard it is to breathe right now. I mean I used to do the exact same jogging system without a stitch just a few weeks ago, and now my chest feel compressed and I can't breathe.

They suggest you start up an exercise routine before surgery, and I think I'll do 30 mins on the treadmill for my routine. I'll let ya'll know how it goes.

Today was 30 mins and 166 cals on a range of 2-4 mph.
with a short pee break after the 4mph 'cause all that heaving made me really have to go.

I probably should have jogged earlier, but hopefully after my nice warm shower I'll be ready to crash.

P&P Eval

So I just got off the phone with the doctors office.

Mom and I go in for our physicals on September 23'rd.

I didn't really get a chance to list all the steps we have to go through before we can have the surgery, so I suppose this is a good time to cover that.

First off, you need to do your research. I've checked out various personal blogs, some websites, a webinar, and I've drilled some people about the procedure. Once you're certain that this is the procedure for you, you need to contact a MGB surgeon.

Dr. Hargroder (http://mgb-surgery.net/) was suggested to me by a coworker.
After requesting information about the procedure and such I recieved a phonecall from the wonderful Carla. She also sent me an email with a handbook and a calendar with a list of online seminars or various support group meetings. I got into one of the "webinars" and actually had the opportunity to talk to Dr. H himself. He did a slideshow presentation about the procedure, who he is, why he does what he does, some comparisons of the different procedures, and finally what to expect. He answered all our questions ("What if I smoke?" "What will my diet be after the surgery?" "How much weight can one expect to lose in the first few months?") and encouraged us to call at any time.

After you are 100% certain that this is for you, call the fabulous Carla and decide on a date.

This is where mom and I are having some issues.

She didn't think I'd get physicals planned in time.
But anyway, after the physicals you'll need to set up a psych evaluation. They'll provide you with a list of names in your area, because Carla is fantastic like that.

You also need to write a letter covering why you want the procedure and you need to talk with 10 other people who have had the surgery.

This is no easy walk in walk out kind of decision. They take this seriously.

A function for this journal

So I've finally found a function for this blog.


I'm going to have a Mini Gastric Bypass (MGB) surgery sometime this year (a date hasn't been decided on just yet, I'm hoping as early as October, but in all reality it probably won't be until December at the earliest).

If you don't know, a MGB is a form of Weight Loss Surgery (WLS).
The surgeon creates five 1in. incisions on your tummy and cuts around the lesser curve of your stomach, where the organ is the least elastic, and staples it closed. This is your new stomach.

The surgeon then travels six feet down your small intestines and finds a good spot to attach them to your new stomach pouch. This basically blocks off the part of your intestines that absorb and store most of the calories that build up into fat storage.

The entire procedure takes about 1 hour and I will be in the hospital for 24 hours for observation. Afterwards I can go back to work (because I do a job where I'm not physically lifting heavy things a lot).

That's all for now, I'm going to be late for work if I keep typing.